Food Allergy Screw Up: Time for a New Start

I just did something so dumb, so stupid, so unbelievably idiotic.

When I saw that Five Minute Friday‘s word for today was new, I knew I needed to write out my frustration.  Words matter, even if it’s only five minutes of jumbled thoughts!

Friends and family know somewhat of the trials we have gone through dealing with food allergies.  10 out of 11 of us are now strictly gluten-free for various health-related reasons.  To sum it up, our genes or immune systems or luck or whatever-you-want-to-call it stinks.

The kids (and a couple of friends that joined us) all had a half day of school, and my brilliant idea was to have bacon and french toast for lunch.  Very doable, but I was not smart when making the french toast.  Yes, I used a separate spatula and skillet for the regular wheat bread.   Somehow in the chaos, I gave my severely wheat intolerant son two pieces of regular wheat french toast.  He ate a half a piece before I realized it.

What went through my mind?

Anger.  Feeling sorry for myself and how hard it is to deal with wheat, coconut, peanut, and milk allergies.  Disbelief.  Wishing I could swallow that wheat bread instead and deal with the joint pain and fatigue.  Fear.  Tears.  A whole lotta curse words.  Anger at God.  How am I supposed to protect them from every crumb of wheat, every hand sanitizer and lip gloss with gluten, every hidden malt ingredient, especially when I handed my son wheat bread on a platter?

Six months and no screw ups.  I can’t believe *I* did it.  I figured it would be an accidental exposure from a restaurant or a food not clearly labeled.  Maybe Dad or Grandma or school.  Nope.  It was me.

That small whisper in the back of my mind, put there by society, that I have too many kids and not enough time and attention for them?  I refuse to let that enter my mind.  I am a good Mom.  Perhaps I will be a better Mom showing my kids that I can screw up and forgive myself.  Everyone needs a new start every now and then.

I wiped my tears, thanked the Lord he wasn’t anaphylactic, gave my son an enzyme, and told him it would be fine.  Because it will be fine.  I am 100% human and make mistakes.  Time to start over new.

Writing this out, this new ability to forgive myself, makes me actually believe it.

And so the new start begins.

14 thoughts on “Food Allergy Screw Up: Time for a New Start

  1. *Hugs* to you! God chose you to be the mama for your kids – and I can empathize, having accidentally given my dairy-allergic daughter something with “milk” as the second ingredient a few weeks ago. ❤

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  2. Aw don’t beat yourself up. It happens, especially when there is so much going on around you. You know the saying ‘you can’t be all things to all men’ (something like that anyway!), it’s true though. Bacon and French toast sounds great btw but next time make everyone the same. The non intolerant and allergic people can eat in line with the rest of them and get on with it.

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    • I know. That’s why we had taken all the wheat out of the house. My oldest daughter just refuses. She wasn’t eating. And then we had a couple extra regular eaters/friends over. That darn Aldi white gf bread looks exactly like regular white bread after making it into french toast!!! Drake seems fine. His PANDAS/immune issues are more of a long-term exposure to wheat.

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      • He seems just fine. No reaction. Honestly, that’s why we gradually went off the GFCF diet. He seemed just fine, and then BAM not ok. Not in an autistic-like way, just severe anxiety and depression. Not uncommon in the recovered kids. So, I guess what I have learned is that if he has an accidental wheat exposure, it isn’t the end of the world. That’s a relief, but I must be careful not to let the diet slide again.

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  3. Praying with you! My son is diabetic and he has “paid” for our mistakes in that department too. And I know that feeling of wishing you could be the one paying for the mistake you made that affects your child.

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  4. Oh my goodness! I can only imagine. But we all need to realize we can make mistakes & you are right that it’s good for your kids to see you make a mistake.

    We just found out that our youngest has a sesame seed allergy (what?). No big deal, right? But the most common linked allergy is peanuts. We also suspect a possible milk allergy… And the doctor told us no legumes (read peanuts, soy, lentils, dry beans, peas, etc.). It’s definitely a game changer.

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    • Believe it or not, I am a touch sensitive to sesame. It was one of those things my doctor believed would disappear after eliminating my major issue—wheat. I haven’t really tried it out too much, since mainly it would be on a wheat hamburger bun. So I guess I will see eventually!

      Prayers for you as you navigate the food allergy world. It will be soooo worth it to have your little one feeling better. God bless.

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      • Oh, yeah! I forgot I have given up hummus for awhile. I seem to tolerate it just fine now every now and then instead of every day like I had been doing! I totally understand the nursing thing. My last two babies have been so easy and healthy. I swear it’s because I have been gluten and dairy free from day one.

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