Summer is keeping me super busy with all nine kids at home! I love it, but it sure is loud around here….
Today I am joining in with Lisa Jo Baker for Five Minute Fridays. I have five minutes to write about the word Lost. No editing, no over thinking, just writing.
I think I’m ready.
The time in my life when I have felt completely, totally lost was when I realized two of my children had regressive autism. They had both been right there with us—talking, laughing, smiling, babbling, hugging, giggling. All of a sudden they were gone.
Where did they go? Their eyes were empty. Hugs were replaced with body slams. Laughter replaced with screams. Smiles replaced with bite marks and bruises from head banging.
No one believed me, but I saw it. They were gone. Lost.
God gave me one day to feel sorry for myself—sorry for my sons—and then He shook me and dared me to look for answers. Healing answers, not the kind of answers that rationalized every stim and scream away as just a symptom of autism. My sons were there. Not lost.
Then I became lost in biomedical treatments for autism. God gave me hope!
ABA therapy. Prayer. Gluten-free, casein-free diet. NAET. Digestive enzymes. Listening therapy. OCD. Strep in the gut. Cod liver oil. Chiropractic care. Mineral deficiencies. Essential fatty acids. DAN! doctors. Methylation cycles. Authia cream. Speech therapy. Methyl-B12 shots. Miracles. Curcumin. Low muscle tone. Occupational therapy. Glutathione cream. Therapeutic brushing. Leaky gut. Blood brain barrier. Gut dysbiosis. Anti-fungal diets. Gut herbs. Probiotics. Chelation. DMSA. Parasites. Wormwood and cloves. Milk thistle. Yasko protocol. Lower ammonia. MTHFRs. Clostridia. Feces smearing. Alpha lipoic acid. Diarrhea. Fungus. Raise dopamine. Lower glutamate. Raise GABA. Yeast. Low dose Naltrexone. Detox. EDTA suppositories. Mitochondrial dysfunction. Genetics. More B12–methyl, cyano, adenosyl, hydroxy. Kidney support. Peeing out mercury and lead. Detox, detox, detox. Re-myelinate the brain. Eye contact. Laughter. Words. Friends. Healing.
For years, I had a recurring dream. Both boys were drowning. The ocean waves swept them up and down, over and over, and I could almost reach them. Every time I almost grabbed their little hands, they slipped away. Lost. I woke in a cold sweat.
Today we are not lost. We are healed—weakened, yet healed—but my heart is cracked. I try to help others who are lost. Even prevent them from getting lost in the first place. I pray for healing. I pray for answers. Please Lord, let no family be this lost ever again. I pray for it to stop.
Speaking of stopping, my 5 minutes is up!
Not too shabby squeezing 9 1/2 years into 5 minutes!
I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the desolate pit, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon rock, making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.