It’s pretty embarrassing, but this is my living room furniture. Yep, we will be getting new furniture soon.
We keep putting it off. Why buy new furniture? It will just get ruined with nine kids running around. It’s bound to happen—a toddler with a Sharpie, a preschooler with scissors, the dreaded stomach flu, a leaking sippy cup.
My fear of changing the appearance of my living room made the Holy Spirit remind me of how afraid I am to change ME, inside and out.
Sometimes I don’t want to change because it means I’m not in control. If I ask God for guidance, He might tell me to change. I might have to speak up about the hard stuff. Maybe I’ll have to study Church teaching instead of just going with society and what “feels” right. Perhaps I am too judgemental, holding a grudge, or just plain need to get over myself. I am so worried about other people’s sins that it’s easy to forget mine. My sins aren’t really that bad anyway, are they?
I would like to share something very personal. After I gave birth to my 7th baby, my autoimmune issues got worse. I was scared. My joints felt so inflamed that it hurt to open a jar, walk down the steps, even pick up my baby. I was terrified I was getting so sick that I wouldn’t be able to take care of my family. How was Mike going to work AND take care of the babies?
It flashed through my mind that I should not have more children, and I was very tempted to do something permanent about it. I remember leaning over the kitchen counter, crying and begging God to help me feel better. Clear as day, I heard a deep, male voice say out loud,
“You are having another little boy.”
I stood up straight, laughed, and looked around the room but saw no one. I’m not sure if it was my guardian angel or God who spoke to me, but I knew it was a Divine message!
Would my life have been easier if I would’ve dismissed those words from God as crazy hallucinations? Maybe. I couldn’t do it, though. God told me I would have another son. If Mother Mary could do what she did, surely God would help me muddle through my life!
I received the Anointing of the Sick from Father Jack at church. Jesus spiritually healed me through this sacrament, making it possible for me to wipe those vasectomy thoughts out of my mind. Jesus also led me to physical healing through diet changes (no wheat or dairy for me!), chiropractic care, and supplements for my immune system.
Had I ignored God’s message, I wouldn’t have these two wonderful baby boys in my life now:
Only time will tell how God uses these two children to spread His love in the world!
I still get scared to ask God for help. His answers are usually not easy. I need a makeover, just like my living room, and I know God will help me.
Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and having done everything, to hold your ground. So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate, and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace. In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Ephesians 6:14-16
Lord, help me put on Your protective armor and use You as my shield. Even if it takes You changing me, scribbling over my flaws, poking and squeezing the stuffing out of me.
If possible, please use Your shield and armor to protect my new living room furniture from the flaming arrows of my messy children!
Linked up with Perfection Pending: