Dear sweet Britta,
I know you are disappointed that your tooth remains in the envelope under your pillow this morning. I realize you had your chiropractor yank your tooth out for you last night, and that you went to sleep dreaming of quarters and stickers or other fun little prizes.
I screw up all the time. I’m very busy. In fact, last night I was busy grocery shopping at 9:30 pm because it was the first time I’d had a chance. After unloading groceries, I had to use my magical fairy powers to put dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Instead of showering, I went to bed and my mind just forgot about your tooth.
Remember that your brother once had a tooth under his pillow for 4 months. Keep in mind that your siblings know a wonderful secret: The longer your tooth remains under your pillow, the more quarters you get. Once your sister even got $5 for a tooth because I was out of quarters and too freaking tired to care.
I will tell my friend Elf on a Shelf to not bother coming to your house. He would definitely get bored just sitting in the same place the entire Christmas season.
Your tired and forgetful friend,
The Tooth Fairy