When Life Gives you Crap, Pretend It’s Chocolate


As a mommy of 9, my life has pretty much revolved around poop for the past 15 years.  Is the baby pooping enough?  Rinsing poop out of cloth diapers.  Did they make it to the potty?  Poop jokes.  Finding poop in crazy, random places.  Kids poking their head out of the bathroom, asking for the plunger.

“My farts smell like fried oysters!” ~Blaise, age 9

“You’re such a poop-a-loop!” ~Erica, age 18 months

“Who smells like poop?” ~Everyone, trying to avoid changing a diaper

“Looks like a piece of blue poop to me!” ~Mom, age 38, after a failed attempt at Spirograph creativity

“POOP. People Order Our Patties.”  ~Sponge Bob

“It’s a POOP-ERGENCY!” ~Mom, age 39, thinking she was funny

“Look at the Poopy Puppy!” 4th of July 2014


A few nights ago, soaking in a much-needed bath, I saw a mysterious brown splatter on my bathroom wall.  What did I do?  Closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and pretended it was chocolate.  After my bath, I scrubbed chocolate off my wall.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Phillipians 4:8

I’m going to keep on doing what St. Paul said, focusing on the lovely things in life worthy of praise.  Chocolate pretty much has that covered.

My new life motto:  Remember the chocolate.  Forget the poop.

8 thoughts on “When Life Gives you Crap, Pretend It’s Chocolate

  1. Dear Fruitful Mama,
    Thank you for this posting. My family has many discussions on poop and we enjoyed it. Keep up the good work.

    God bless,


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