Can’t have you thinking I have a halo on my head yet. Trust me, my halo is tarnished and crooked. I’m a work in progress.
Here is a list of 5 words that make me giggle like an immature 5th grader, every single time.
1. Pork Loin
I have never bought a pork loin to cook. It’s probably because I’m really not a very good cook. The word “loin” makes me think of, well, loins. Men’s private parts make me laugh. Sorry, guys, I’m a girl. Not a visual person.
Obviously, the word donkey conjures up images of the word @$$. Keeping it PG. The word @$$ makes me think of my son Drake….Wait, that didn’t come out right.
Drake taught himself how to read at a very young age. I finally figured it out when he was turning 3 that he could pretty much read any word he saw. At a family trip to the zoo, he innocently read “Wild Somalian Ass” on a sign. Mike and I laughed hysterically and convinced Drake to sit on the Wild Somalian Ass on the carousel just so we could take his picture. It’s not every day you can look back at a scrapbook and fondly remember the 1st day your 3-year-old ever said “Wild Somalian Ass.”
In kindergarten, Drake came home laughing that a kid had written “A-S-S” underneath the table. Pretty soon my entire van load of kids was saying @$$, over and over, but they explained to me it was ok to say it because they were talking about donkeys. I just turned the music up louder to drown them out and mask my own giggles.
Catholics sure do love the word penance. It’s ok for me to say this because I am a convert. Why does “penance” make me giggle? Because my sweet Britta—yes, the one dreaming of becoming a nun—spelled “penance” wrong on a 2nd grade test. Want to know how she spelled it? Penis. I will never, ever, receive my penance after the Sacrament of Reconciliation without thinking of Britta’s misspelling. You will also never, ever convince me that Jesus wasn’t laughing hysterically up in heaven at her spelling test!
Please explain why someone would name their gas station Kum ‘n Go? Just why?
5. Strap On
I will never forget when Joel was about 4 years old. He was crying, saying he needed help with his “strap on.” I nearly spit out my almond milk laughing so hard when I helped him put his Wii remote control strap on his wrist.
#5 strap on makes me think of #1 pork loins. Then I quickly move on to #3 penance, and then, sadly, briefly giggle about #4 come. I start feeling like a #2 donkey. It’s a big cycle of inappropriateness. My own personal Circle of Life.
Thanks for indulging me. I needed to laugh today. It’s winter, it’s been too cold for too long, and I have so many kids that even if I was an octopus I wouldn’t have enough arms for them all. Now I will get my head out of my donkey and do some laundry.
Have a blessed day!